How many of you actually have a standard answer to this question ? If you do, then we must be on the same boat.
I think this question is actually quite innocent ( I am guilty of asking this questions quite often too.. hehehe). I think it is the question or comment that follows that is really destructive.. (at least to me).
"Aiyoh, when lar? You are not young already ler...."
Man.. age is a reason to marry now ???
I have been asked by many since 2 years back. At first, it was a shy smile and some mumbled answer.. Then, it is short (but sweet) answer of "Two more years". Now it is two years later. Am I getting married ? Yeah, eventually. When ? HAHAHA... that is the big question. I don't know.
Marriage is a unity of two person. I cannot decide nor can I answer for my another half. AND I can't be asking him when and when all the time ?? I have this old fashion thinking that I want my another half to propose to me, asking for my hand of marriage in a special and romantic way.. then I will tell him through my watery eyes.. I love you too.. but please give me some time to think over it ( tarik harga maaaa). Not with me starting a conversation like below.
" Eh, today my aunty asked me again when getting married ler ?"
" Oh...KPC-nyaa... so what you told her?"
" I said I don't know lor.. "
" Ohh.. okie.... "
"So.. so.. you.. you got any plans... ?"
" WAAAAALAU-eh.. Like that also can score goal !!!! OUCH..OUCH...( this is when I will whack him) What lar ??"
" Nothing LAAAAAAAAAAA" Then, I go sulking for the whole afternoon.
To many , it is a simple and innocent question. And, I am not blaming those who have asked or have been asking me that question. I know they care and are concerned about me.. Just that, sometimes it creates a shadowless and shapeless pressure. It is like a monster devouring your heart. Espescially when you have another half who is oblivious of the entire thing.
It is not that I am very very very very keen to get married soon. But, with everyone asking me the question. My family, relatives, close friends, not-so-close friends.. colleagues... boss.. vendors !!!I cannot answer and I really feel I am alone at times.. When the question piles up, it transform to a burden in my mind. I do not want to ask him as I do not want him to feel that I am pressuring him. And, it is meaningless to ask him too many times what is his plans for us.. Yeah, conservative I know...
At times, when I think about it. I am actually not really ready to get married. But, I still feel the pressure, whether or not any one is really pressuring me. Peer pressure , family pressure, health pressure (the risk to have your first baby after 30 yrs old)....
Ahhhh..since when marriage is between two people? Hahaha.. I remember my aunty once told me. When you marry, you are not just marrying the person. You are marrying the family.
Now, I feel it is not only the family.. it is the ENTIRE SOCIETY. May be if I can just forget about society norms, don't give a damn of what people say, people think, I would be happier.
Yeah. may be. But I couldn't get myself to do so. So how ?
Write in my blog to flush out all the feelings when I feel the pressure again lor... Enjoy my single life too !!!!!
Worst case is no little cute smings running around .. hahaha...