River of Life ~Sming's

Me and just me.

Thursday, May 18, 2006
When I was 19 ....
This was something I wrote for my-then bf for his birthday. Hmm... that was when I was inspired by the river of life thingy but that time I used the word stream. Stream is like soft flowing water; River - raging, swirling water ( cannot forget the teh tarik water at Sg. Padas).
So, now very 'ganas' d.. Haha..
Anyway, those were the days.. so young.. so naive.. so simple...
When you are riding on a boat on a stream, you can see a little in front of you , a little behind you and maybe some trees and bushes on the banks. But if you are up in the air... you see everything... the beginning of the stream , where it ends and how it flows to where it ends. You see the life of the stream. It’s just like a vision. Some people dies and have this vision of their own life.

I like looking at humans’ stream of life. Who am I or what am I doesn’t matter but I can assure you that I don’t take life to do that. Everyone that exist in earth has their stream of life flowing forever. Life is a destiny.

Today , I chose a life of a female to look on. I peer into her life when she is young. I like young girls. I like the romantic part even more.

She is an ordinary girl, nothing much to say about. She is just at her turning point of life, leaving her home for 18 years to another place to further her studies. She went to this place or University called Unitele. She came here with dreams... to a new life that will give her independence , freedom and a bright future.

It was at a lecture hall when she met HIM. She was looking around when she turned and found herself looking at him. Without thinking, she blurted “hi”. Then they were introduced. It wasn’t anything special. But she was wrong, it wasn’t anything special yet.

Next was a vision when she was coming out from a lab and bumped right into him. He was asking for some notes. Then he left. Without any reasons, she went looking for him. They talked and she found being with him was really fun.

As days gone by , they met and talked. It was a the friendly thing. Until one day, someone sort of revealed the possibility that he liked her more than friends. She was flattered. She decided to find out the truth .

She got to him one night. They were talking under the starry night. It was her first time looking at stars with a guy. That night he confessed to her he liked somebody. Deep in her heart , she knew it was her. But, she played along with him. She didn’t know why she did that. Maybe she just wanted him to say right out to her or maybe she did find him interesting.

Weeks gone by . They were still playing the hide and seek game. She was so involved in the game until that she really believed that there was this girl which he said there is.

It was on her birthday. He and a close friend had been very sweet. They had cooked a maggie mee pretending it was mee suah and two eggs. He gave her a necklace and a jar of lucky stars. She was touched deeply. She was happy to have him as a friend.

All along he had been treating her very well. Very sweet and caring. She was touched but she refused to admit that something has to be done to settle things between them even though he had been dropping hints every now and then.

On one faithful night, 2nd of September. He confessed to her. He took her to the parking lot. He told her , ” I like someone, she’s here in Unitele, she ‘s from engineering faculty, she’s in Group 8, she’s you !” She couldn’t look at him. Although she knew it all long, she still feel uncertain. When he asked her to be his girlfriend, she wanted to say yes but she just couldn’t.

How could she say yes when she has barely recovered from her wound. Age was the other factor , she never like the thought of being involved in younger boys.

She asked for time. He said no problem.

It was near the mooncake festival. Knowing she liked tanglungs, he deliberately borrowed a few and they were walking around with the tanglungs beautifully lit up their night.

Then there was this lunar eclipse. They went to see it. It was magical. All day , the haze has been terrible they thought they would miss it. When it was approaching the time, the haze dispersed. As they lay their backs on the tennis court, the incessant chattering of their friends nearby seem like background music. There was as if only two of them when the shadow falls on the moon and slowly swallow it. The magic was there.

His love and tenderness has touched her, moved her that she was ready to be involved again.

That night they went out to celebrate their friends birthday. He had secretly bought a white rose . When he presented it to her, her face flushed with happiness. It was her first time receiving flowers. With eyes falling on her flower and her, she had a mixture of feeling, happiness and shyness. It was novel to her.

Later that night when they went for supper, the two was up to something again. They hopped on a trishaw and was on the road. With wind blowing on their faces, it was something special that nothing could be said about it.

Then they went back to the campus. The bunch was fooling around. But soon they had time for themselves. She was going to tell him the answer that night, exactly two weeks from the night he confessed.

They went to the tennis courts. They sat for a while when she shook her head. His face fell and looked away. She quietly took out the necklace he gave her and placed it in his hands. Hurt was written on his face. Even darkness couldn’t hide it. She then slyly whispered, “ Put it on me “. He smiled. The night lit up.

Aah... Ordinary people has the most extraordinary stories. Let’s see what happens next. It was after 8 months. She was writing something to him. I peered over her shoulders.


Thank you for always being there for me, thank you for giving me happiness and making me angry sometimes to preserve equality in my life...thank you for loving me and making my world a beautiful one, but most of all I want to tell you is......

My vision blurred. Oh... have used up my power. After all , life won’t be fun if I keep on telling everything to you. To me , it’s different. I have no life. In my world there’s no present, there’s no past , there’s no future. Everything happens at the same time. To me this is only a story... but to you all, my stories are your lives. Write your stories well and live them well.

Oh.. forgot to write closure... Well, I wrote something mushy like I love you (**roll eyes) on anther slip of paper and gave it to him. ~Romantic leh !!

Well, we broke up about another year later or so. Due to the typical you-are-not-my-type reason. I was devastated. But time heals. We are cool now and are good friends.. you know.. those that are like stars- you don't see them all the time but they are always there...

Part of life, part of growing up.

Anyway, now I am very happy with my current relationship. :)

And, no! Not getting married yet !!

posted by sming @ 2:32 PM  
  • At 2:49 PM, Blogger Sue said…

    wahh...din know ur memory so keng!!..can remember so well...

    i like the ending part, the one how u agree to accept him as bf.....

    so wat did u do with EL one? how u say 'yes'??

  • At 3:01 PM, Blogger sming said…

    hehe.. That time sweet sweet in love mar.. Then, sure can remember the details...After all, that time written after 8 months together only mar...

    hahaha. give me some time. I will write our love story soon. Else he jealous how leh ??

  • At 3:06 PM, Blogger Sue said…

    yeah, can tell how simple and naive u r that time....not saying now u not nice (hint hint : fierce only, hahahahHAHHAH..)

    okok...faster write...i become more kpc.....

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