River of Life ~Sming's

Me and just me.

Thursday, June 29, 2006
Why must we all compare?
I am not happy.
I cried last night. And as far as I remember, this is the second incident I cried about ever since I lost my dad. One was a small matter, I was just being a baby. This time, because my ego was bruised. Very much bruised.
Yes, he has gone up the corporate ladder. His new income is a whooping sum of money for his age. Yes, I am still with the same designation, I don't have a team working under me, my salary was just inching up, BUT that doesn't mean I am less of a person !
Why in front of everybody, you made this statement, "Eh, he is climbing up the corporate ladder, what about you huh?"
I know you care, you are just untactful. You were a retired senior general manager, you have been there.
But, hey, I have feelings...
Why then you ( another person) call me up and inform me his new income figure and then imply that I should not be happy with what I am earning now. Yes, I know I should aim for more. But, I have my own priorities at this moment. Why make it sound that I am some poor underpaid country mice ?
Why make it sound like I am inferior?
Again, I know you really care and want me to have a better life . You are a CTO and senior vice president, you are at the top.
But hey, I have self-respect...
Yes, I know I should disregard them. I should not compare. But, I am only human, and definitely no saint.
I know the main reason that I am so upset is the fact I AM not really proud with how my career is going. I do have my plans but now I just have my own priorities.
Yes, I know I shouldn't let those remarks get into me. But, I am a LEO. I am EGOISTIC. It doesn't not feel good being put down by others.
He is doing better in his career. I am glad for him(half-heartedly actually- I would truly be happy for him if he was a nicer person). But, he proved himself. He made it. I have to give him credit for that. But, don't compare me to him, ok?
I know I have to move on, I should do something to improve my life. But, I will do it because I WANT to. Not because someone else DID it. I'll do it for ME... MYSELF.
I hate this feeling. I just damn bladdy hate it.
Ok.. give me a morning. I will be ok after this. Then I will channel my energy to something positive yeah !!
HFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT.. **breathing in a BIG breathe.
posted by sming @ 8:58 AM  
5 Comments:
  • At 5:13 PM, Blogger AlvinTheSaw said…

    poor gal.... and welcome to the real world (i learn it after 2 week of my first job)

     
  • At 5:37 PM, Blogger Sue said…

    ah doi...this is actually making u look so moody the whole morning...the thing that make u look ugly today ( don scold me :P)..just ignore this YOU(TTDI arr?)....
    cheer up girl...u achived so many things that "he" (the one climbing the ladder)has not...so y bother wat type of ladder u r climbing....u r doin well in ur life ladder, and im sure u will reach where u wanna go in the near future....
    ok lah....today i will let u be the ugly duckling and dowan to fan u....

     
  • At 5:45 PM, Blogger sming said…

    AlvintheSaw.. thanks. Real world is cruel hoh.. somemore it is by own relative... Lagi hurrrrtt...

    Sue, don't bother who said what lar. But I got self respect, self worth.. How can let them stomp on my feelings and have no feel at all ?

    But thanks ppl.. i m better. I make a vow to myself that I would be successful in my life IN MY OWN way.

     
  • At 5:55 PM, Blogger Patrick said…

    ok ok! 明天会更好! gooody goody..smile...! you look more pretty when u smile :)

     
  • At 6:49 PM, Blogger Johnson said…

    Ppl compare ppl,
    compare die ppl ler..

    Since the fire is burning hot go for an interview, jump to another company get an salary leap, get more exposure while u can when young..
    Dont stick to ur bloody company that gives u less then 10% increament, organisation structure that dont move if no one dies or leave its post..

    The company will praise u, promote, good bonus 4 the first few years.. after that they suck u dry n they will think u are useless, then u know wat lar everything will be slow and small... have u reach there yet?

    Ppl are aggressive, advantures, try new thing are between 18 - 30 (fire burning)
    After that no more fire.. feel dead, no hope, feel demoralise.. feel like just work for a living.. that time u r really dead!!!!!

    if u know me, i have a friend in the same organisation who have work 11 year just to move from manager to senior manager.. dont u feel sad..?

    So move out when the fire is burning..

     
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