River of Life ~Sming's

Me and just me.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006
This is my GRANDMA
This is my grandma.
Cute yeah.
She is 95 years old this year. Born in the year of the rat, 1911. She survived World War 2. She lost few kids before. So I think I have some unknown uncles and aunties. I forgot how many. May be 2 or 3.
My mom lost her dad when she was 7 years old. I think my grandma was only 40+ when she was left widowed with 5 kids, with one was not even a year old.
She was uneducated. Some a88holes cheated them the rest of the money/ property. . She slogged. The children studied hard. Anyway, they are doing very well now. So, my grandma is a super survivor. haha
Anyway, she is really old now. She can't recognize the children and grandchildren sometimes.
She gets mixed up who's who. Sometimes I am the daughter, sometimes I am the niece, sometimes she got it right- that was when I bought her mooncakes. :p
Luckily she doesn't have any sister, else I would be her sister pulak !
It was once when my mom was preparing lunch for her.
My grandma looked up at her and smiled gratefully. It was all warm and fuzzy until she said.
" Waaa ah ma, lei dui ngor zhan hai hou hoh!! " "Waaa mommy, you are really nice to me hoh !"
My mom didn't know to laugh or cry then.
It was really funny when my mom told me. But sometimes, looking at her, I feel sad. By prompting, she does remember me. But when there is a day if she no longer know her children, her grandchildren. What is left in her life ?
Sleep, eat, sleep ?
Where's the meaning in life?
Would you all want to live till that old ?
I remember when I was at Standard 3, we would play some stupid game. I would say I want to live till 100 years old, 1000 years old, 10,000 years old ( I told you it was stupid !)....
But now, I don't know. 80+ is more than enough I think.
Well, I always thought my parents would live to 80+years old. But I was wrong. I was so wrong.
So, I might not live till that long too. I couldn't sleep last night. And I was having these silly thoughts. If one day, when I leave this world, I hope my mom won't be around to bear this pain.
She said she rather die earlier than us-the children to go through the pain of having someone dear in her life leaving her. I know. And I understand the pain. I wouldn't want to go through it either.
Please tell my family that I have lived my life as I wanted. May be not really to the fullest, but, I have no regrets in life. Except for my dad. But, I would be seeing him then d.
posted by sming @ 2:08 PM  
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