Enough to cause a small whirlpool on my Monday Bluez mind. It is not really similar to the so-called pressure I had before. What am I thinking actually ? I don't know. Last two Fridays, my bf and few of his buddies went to Poppy to hang out. I tagged along. After a drink or two, my bf went out to bring in the other friend who was late. Stevie who was left with me 'entertained' me with questions. When we are getting married? Had my bf bought the ring yet ? And, he even speculated that my bf is going to propose soon!! Isshh- Don't spoil the fun lar. I want a surprise !! Then, my bf came in with the other friend. Questions dropped. Then, this friend of his whom I had only met for the third time, took the baton. He started to talk to me about our wedding plans. Imagine this. Booze intoxicating your system. Loud music blasting your ear drums. Nicotine clouding your lungs. Macho guys eyeing the chics. Scantily claded chics writhing on the dance floor. And, he was talking about my wedding. My "sacred" wedding. >.< From wedding photos, the reception, events management, the dinner, the MC, the band, ring till honeymoon. EVERYTHING!! He was just this close from asking me if I want help during my confinement period. Looks like I am being sold in to getting married. At a place of sins.. Poppy Garden. Even the name is sinful. Ironic. ****** With the memory still fresh, my bf and I went to his friend's baby's full moon party yesterday evening. Same gang of friends. High school friends. Looking at the small baby, she is so tiny. So fragile. Did my maternal feelings come gushing out ? NO. But I was more like, man ! That is a new life. It's a BABY!! (Obviously huh!!-Mind was blank) Looking at the dad... I am acquainted to this friend for sometime. He had some hiccups in his love life few years back. And, now he is a father. It was like. **blink blink He broke up with the x-gf. **blink blink He is attached with a new girl. **blink blink He is getting married !! **blink blink He is a proud father!! :O Looking at the mother...Dun know her much. I think she is younger than me. And she is a mom already. To make things worse, another guest (a mom) asked me if I have any children when I was looking at her cute girl. Shucks! DO I look like a mother ? I was JUST looking your cute daughter coz she reminded me of myself!! Hahaha. Anyway, to think of it. When my mom was my age, I was already one year old. ok. Feel better now. And then, that dad asked if I am ready for pregnancy ? Siao. I am not even married yet ler. What's wrong with these people ???? Life changes with a new baby in the family. Lifestyles to be changed. Priorities to be reshuffled. Sacrifices to be made. Man. It is so SCARY. Yes, that is the feeling. SCARY. *** Then I viewed my cousin's wedding photos. She had the wedding party at Aruba. She is living in New York now. The husband is half black- half white. Yes, like cincau plus soya milk. Michael Jackson.. It was a simple registration. No gowns. No ties. It was a reception at the poolside. A party. Simple yet fun. Then, the wedding ceremony at the beachside. ROMANTIC!! I saw her choked up emotions. I saw my aunty's tears. I wonder how would it be like to marry off your daughter. I wonder how it would be like to be given away. Would it be any different if you two have been staying apart about 10 yrs? And how would it be like see your son starting his own family? That he is now a husband and eventually a father? He would then be the man of his own family. Then, I saw the loving stare the newly weds shared, the passionate kiss with the sun setting behind them. How would it be to be someone's wife ? Or someone's husband? When your relationship is legally binded? When everyone is there to celebrate your union of love? I wonder. Married people out there, anything to share ?
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Aii sm, u big big gal already. dont think and worry so much lah! u will feel the different once u had reach to the level.
So, 'dancing still dancing, horse still run'... 'sky fall, make it ur comforter lah!' hahhaaa...